BATTLING ONE’S FEAR


I am a tough guy and since childhood, I have not feared of anyone in terms of expression and in terms of defending myself from people who intends to inflict harm and offenses especially when my position holds the truth and that it sides with what is right and good. I am a fighter since birth and I never back out in a fight.

I remember when I was in Grade 2 that I was being mocked by a batch mate who was twice my size in terms of built and height. I was cornered at the back of the gym with this fat kid along with his 2 classmates famous for being fearless bullies. They have bullied almost everyone but not me. So they took me as their next target.

The place was filled with stockpiles of old school chairs and old lumbers. I have nowhere to run as well because the place was then gated and the only way I could get out is being blocked by the bullies. I stood and waited for them. They tried making fun at me by curses and teasing. We were kids.

I asked why I am being bullied. They just laughed and laughed. Then the biggest kid started pushing me just as how kids would start a fight. I was almost swept away. I tried to balance myself and pushed back but with less effect because I was too small for his match. They laughed once again.

Although, I was thin and small then while he was too big for me, I stood still. I prepared myself. What came next after the pushing was punching. I was told repeatedly by my grandfather before that in a fight, the first strike should come from my foe no matter what. I held my fist and did nothing but wait.

In the real world, this is a little hard to accept for me as a kid then. I was thinking why I had to be punched first before I can punch back. Perhaps because I was being taught then that fighting should be a thing of last resort and it should only come as a defense. So I had to control myself and my wish of getting even by these bullies.

As a result, I was punched once in my shoulder really hard. Kids way back then were less violent. Almost it is rare that kids would punch their enemies in the head nor they would use any weapon to inflict fatal offenses because all of us are afraid then of wounding a fellow student and even leaving a black eye which can cause an instant dismissal from the school. So the chest, the back and even the arms were perfect spots then.

So as my arm muscles ached due to the strong punch I just received, I gathered my energy to punch back. It was my time to fight. I was almost crying when I got my fist ready and gave a strong blow in his arm where a scar from an immunization was visible that I used it as my target.

I gave him not one but series of jabs and punches mimicking my idol then – Fernando Poe, Jr. who punches like an automatic rifle. I was punching and at the same time looking at his face. He was motionless as I was making his arm a punching bag. His 2 classmates were in a state of shock as well as they never thought I would fight back.

After 10 to 20 punches in his arm, my tears fell but I was standing still and looking at him straight in his eyes. I was quiet. Suddenly, his eyes turned red and tears fell as well. Just before I was about to apologize, he cried like hell yelling and asking for his mother. He was threatening me that I will be reported to his teachers.

The 2 other boys fled the scene and soon ran to their teacher to report me assaulting their classmate. Soon, the teacher asked me to explain and in the end, I was vindicated from all the accusations. Besides, I was the one being bullied and cornered. I just acted to defend myself after being punched by a kid twice my size.

While at the Guidance Office, the fat boy could not look at me in the eye nor can he mock me afterwards. He thought I would fear him same as his other bully victims that I would not fight back but he was wrong because he found himself a match in me. I gave him an instant karma that day he thought of bullying me.

The news broke and soon I was being cheered by bully victims. I was lucky that day by making them realize that they have found their match in me because I stood strong and fearless not because I was tough but because I did not started the fight – I just defended myself fearless amidst their number and their size.

From that day on, I was never bullied. I sometimes played the bully but I was never bullied as a kid in school. Outside, I met some who were really evil bullies but still, I got the reputation of being a strong-willed and hard-to-beat person that defined who I am right now – a fighter.

For almost 21 years until now, I have taken that lesson in life that requires each and every one of us to successfully battle out the fear we have inside us. For as long as you know that you are right and that you know that what you intend to perform is something that is not violating someone’s rights, you need to proceed.

The real victory comes to those who try to triumph over uneven fights of life – to those who conquer the highest mountain and deepest sea amidst uncertainties and dangers. The reality of life is filled with success stories of underdogs making it big because of they have tried breaking off their limits as underdogs… battling one’s fear.