CHUCK NORRIS FACTS


chuck-norris

Chuck Norris facts are satirical factoids about martial artist and actor Chuck Norris that have become an Internet phenomenon and as a result have become widespread in popular culture. The facts are normally absurd hyperbolic claims about Norris’s toughness, attitude, virility, sophistication, and masculinity. Some of the most famous examples include:

·         When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
·         When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn’t lift himself up. He pushes the world down.
·         Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever.
·         If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
·         Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

The facts typically claim that Chuck Norris is some type of tough, all-powerful superbeing. The Chuck Norris facts have spread around the world, leading not only to translated versions, but also spawning localized versions mentioning country-specific advertisements and other Internet phenomena. Allusions are also sometimes made to his use of roundhouse kicks to perform seemingly any task, his large amount of body hair with specific regard to his beard, and his role in the action television series Walker, Texas Ranger.

·         When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
·         Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
·         There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
·         Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
·         Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
·         Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
·         Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
·         Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
·         There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
·         When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
·         Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
·         Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
·         Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
·         Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
·         Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
·         Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
·         Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
·         Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.