ON FAMILY CONFLICTS AND SETTLING DIFFERENCES


Simpsons FightI must admit that I came from a typical and not-so-perfect clan yet I am happy because God gave me just what I needed – a family. I am sure that most people would complain about it but as they say… nothing is perfect!

Since childhood, I have seen some conflicts within the family. I have seen uncles and aunties fighting each other over petty things and I have seen my parents quarrel because of typical issues that a husband and wife argues about. It’s normal!

Way back when we were kids and Facebook was not even possible then because the internet was still being developed, conflicts are settled overnight. Often, we would not even know that something happened because we keep things within the family.

Nowadays, fights are harder to settle. We have social networks too that makes everything quite complicated. A simple shout or a comment can fuel a big fight that often is hard to extinguish because it spreads so fast in just a single mouse click!

Family Conflict - Image from www.karenschristmasblog.comThe most common cause of a family conflict arises when a family member misinforms another. This is commonly known as miscommunication be it intentional or unintentional. There are several reasons why this happens and this is not good.

Have you guys experience in your life where your auntie or uncle scolded you because you did something wrong and then you go back home and tell your parents about it but in a different tone? So what did your parents do then?

Well, I have been in that kind of scenario when I was small. Normally, the parents would react and get mad. This often would result in a confrontation between your parents and your uncles or aunties. Besides, parents are protective by nature!

Family Conflict  - Image from www.nhfamilylawblog.comOne more example is gossip and rumors either because of jealousy or just because it is a plain habit already to put up stories and pass them around like wild SMS. For sure, this would create a bigger war inside the family when mishandled.

I need not to cite specifics but my point here is that a family though coming from the same blood has also its share of dilemma arising from differences. No matter how civilize and educated every member can be, conflicts can always happen.

For me, the best way to prevent such from getting worse is by putting emphasis to love and respect. When you love a person, you will respect him or her regardless of issues. When respect is present, it will prevent you from destroying the relationship.

More so, when you respect a person, you will care enough not to say something that could harm. You will be patient enough to understand mistakes for the very same reason that… “Hey! We have the same blood running through our veins!”

BUKID PAINTING by Dante Hipolito

Settling differences within the family is as simple as opening one’s ears and understanding the fact that you are dealing with someone you love. This would also requires humility and acceptance because we all make mistakes anyway!

As most people say, it is harder to wage a war with people of the same blood than with a stranger. Well, this may be true at times just because we do not want to be humbled. Our familiarity with the person prevents us from swallowing our pride.

Nonetheless, it should not even be the case since familiarity should even be a way of making us understand the person better. For me, no amount of anger can clout someone’s mind when  you count the happy moments more than the bad ones.

Thus, if you find it hard to forgive your siblings or your relatives, think of the happy moments you both shared when you were small. Will you trade these memories over a petty issue? Well, your answer will define how you will settle things.  

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