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I feel guilty. I feel guilty for not having been able to help a sick old man on the street awhile ago as I was on my way home from a quick shopping for office supplies at Shangri-la Mall at 9PM. I don’t feel good. I stopped and asked but I failed to help him as he took one short step after another while visibly in deep pain.

I could have asked him if he wanted to be taken to the hospital or if he needed food. I failed. It was raining and my hands were full. I had to carry bags of bond papers and supplies. My instinct was pushing me to grab the old man and take him towards the roofed entrance of the mall and attend to him but I had some doubts of my own.

At 8PM, I decided to go to the mall to buy some supplies for my work. I had to rush because National Bookstore would close at 9PM along with the mall. After having done my task, I decided to head home. Just as I exited the mall, I saw ladies staring at the street. I thought there was an accident or people in trouble so I checked.

As I reached Metro Bank which is just besides the mall, I saw this man walking slowly with his hand on his lower abdomen. It was too obvious that the old man was in great pain. People were hesitant to approach him as he barely answers. Many times I thought he would fall but he kept walking slowly every time he stops.

I paused and asked him if he was okay. He did not reply. Maybe he did not hear me well. He would cough frequently and spit on the road which is perhaps another reason why passersby would not care to stop and attend to the poor old man. I stopped from walking for almost 6 times for every 6 steps forward that I take. I was concerned.

I was thinking that he might fall and hit his head bad or maybe it would rain so hard that he might be in more pain. Thus, I pause to check if he was able to walk near each post until he reached the mall entrance where a lady sidewalk vendor is positioned. As I was about to reach our building, I prayed silently for his safety.

I turned my back and headed home hoping that the lady vendor would help him or that he would feel better. I am not sure if he was sick or maybe he was too hungry that he was holding his stomach. I just hope that he is fine. As I entered our house, I wanted to go out again so I could check. I feel so guilty for not being able to help.

I feel guilty because I remember my late maternal grandfather on the poor old guy. I also feel bad because I was having abdominal pain since yesterday and I know how painful it was to be in that situation outdoor, alone in the night and under the rain. I could be him. I feel so sorry. I just hope and pray that he’ll make it through.

Lord, make him well. Thank you.

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